A Bit More Information. Or, Why I Can Eat Only Salmon Salad.

I quit eating sugar, honey and maple syrup months ago. Sugar feeds yeast. My body is out of whack and yeast is running amok within it.

I quit eating fruit a month after that.Fruit also contains sugar. It also contains nutrients and stuff, but it doesn’t matter, because it’s better to be nutritionally deficient than to have an itchy rash all over your entire body and brainfog (among other fun symptoms).

I quit eating all bread except for occasional sourdough bread 3 months ago. I quit eating sourdough bread a month ago when it became apparent that that too was problematic.

I quit eating all grains and grain products 2 or 3 months ago except for barley, quinoa and wild rice. Barley didn’t actually cause me any massive distress the last time I ate it a month ago, but I cut it out anyway after reading that it’s the devil somegoddamnwhere. I quit eating quinoa around the same time, but now I’m reading some new annoying book that says that quinoa is ok! Haha! HAHAHA! Wild rice – I kept eating that a little longer because I had a lot of people saying words like “But it’s a super grain!” to me, and I have a great local supply of it, so it’s practically free, and I do think it’s super healthy, but finally – STARCH. Dammit. Back to the drawing board.

I quit eating squash after I was craving vitamins like a mofo and bought the most beautiful squash from my neighbor at the farmers market, brought it home, cooked it, and ATE THE WHOLE THING. And the next few days were awful.

I quit drinking kefir at the same time I quit eating fruit. I used to make kefir smoothies with fruit all the time, so the two really go together for my normal diet (or what I used to feel was my normal diet). Kefir has yeast AND lactobacillus, and the yeast cancels out the lactobacillus, so that’s out.

I quit drinking milk around the same time that I was quitting a lot of this other stuff. I have only drank raw milk for years, and I FUCKING LOVE IT, so this one makes me very sad. I also seriously believe in the probiotic power of raw milk, and I think I really need probiotics right now, so I was very hesitant to give it up. But lactose is a sugar, goddamn it. So I’ve been making yogurt and eating cheese instead. You know, to keep my bones from disintegrating from lack of calcium.

Now I’m cutting out yogurt and cheese for a week or so along with a bunch of other things I dearly love just to see what happens. If I can eat relatively clean for a certain period of time, I think I can add yogurt back in later and either the shit will hit the fan, or I will prove what a bunch of idiots these non-dairy experts are. I can’t wait.

The “experts” disagree about fat, salt and the ill effects of various other obnoxious ingredient details. I’m still not sure what to think of all that, except that I’m not likely to give up butter totally anytime soon.

So…that leaves…dark green leafy vegetables, celery, meat, eggs, onions, garlic, herbal tea, oh the gallons and gallons of herbal tea…annnnd not much else. I covered liver under “meat.” And yes, I am eating a boatload of liver these days. But only grassfed humanely-raised guaranteed-sparkly-clean liver.

I also figured out that I can eat a shit ton of salmon salad with no ill effects to speak of (these days, onion and garlic breath DO NOT count as ill effects), as long as I make the mayonnaise myself using only egg, salt, oil and lemon juice (no vinegar! I guess vinegar is bad, because yeast, unless it’s apple cider vinegar, in which case, that’s ok, because ACV is magical.), and as long as I don’t get too creative – so, no Craisins in the salmon salad for now.

This shit is exhausting.

Also, the most recent thing I read says no pork. WTH? Are you fucking kidding me?


2 thoughts on “A Bit More Information. Or, Why I Can Eat Only Salmon Salad.

  1. You are funny as SHIT..enjoyed reading all your rants..sounds like a chapter out of MY candida journal..your right,I need to fucking get on board with what I KNOW ,to be the right way to eat in order do destroy these SHITHEADS,we call Candida .self destruction is no long an option. Much thanks,Pamela.


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