Why Candida Rage?

Trust me, if you had this shit going on, you’d have quite a lot of rage too. Once you could get through the foggy lethargy enough to feel it.

Candida is yeast. We all have yeast on and in our body naturally – it’s on almost all the food we eat in tiny quantities – and naturally it shouldn’t really bother us, but if something happens that throws our bodies out of balance, yeast is able to gain a foothold and get out of control.

I don’t really have the energy to explain right now how this happened to me, how my body got out of balance, blah blah blah. I’ll try to remember to share that in an upcoming post. In the meantime, don’t ask, “Have you tried blah blah blah,” or “Maybe you have this other thing (insert trendy disease here) that my cousin had. She drank nothing but coconut water from coconuts harvested by exotic dwarves under the full moon and she’s fine.” Saying things remotely like that is one of the things that provokes CANDIDA RAGE, and I will not hesitate to get all rageful on your dumb ass.

Another thing that provokes CANDIDA RAGE is when someone tells me to cut something out of my diet. Like, “Oh, just quit eating dairy and you’ll be fine.” Or “Just quit eating fermented foods!” Ok, great. Fun stuff. It’s super easy! You don’t have to work at shit like that at all! Especially not when you’ve been using raw dairy and fermented foods to keep candida in check for effing years already! Junk that shit! No one can tell me how long I have to ignore and not eat my favorite things, or if not eating dairy is actually scientifically proven to work, but no big deal!

I want to punch everyone in the fucking face right now.

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