I just googled Candida Rage (You know, to check my search rankings, right? Actually it was because I forgot where my blog was. I’ve been terribly busy being rageful offline for quite a while now.) and turned up a whole bunch of posts on how candida can cause “extreme mood swings, feelings of rage…”
Heh. Heh heh heh.
Also…there are a jillion freaking blogs about candida, and every single one of them talks in this horrible dumbed down language with just enough information to get you to start thinking that maybe this one is okay, maybe this one isn’t total bullshit…but then you have to buy their book in order to find out THE SECRET OF HOW TO BEAT CANDIDA.
And I’m just going to hazard a guess here, but out of all of these million blogs, with a million books for sale, each with their own smarmy guru peddling themselves and their version of reality, probably half are primarily about peddling their own anti-fungal vitamin supplements or something (none of which are intended to cure or treat any disease), and the other half are talking about diet. Of the half a million blogs/books talking about candida and diet, half of these might actually mention that you have to SEVERELY modify your diet, but 99% of these quickly change the subject (or fail to use the word SEVERELY) to trendy words like “GAPS-friendly Caramel Sauce” and “Paleo Chocolate Muffins.” And once we start using words like these, guess what’s coming next? You guessed it! THE SECRET OF HOW TO BEAT CANDIDA: THE SEQUEL COOKBOOK!
And to that, at this point in my rageful progression with this dark passenger, I say SHUT THE FUCK UP.
The Sequel Cookbook (which incidentally costs $65 plus shipping and is profusely illustrated with gorgeous food porn photography designed to make you want foods you can’t have) is not going to help, folks. Because each of these asshole authors has some axe to grind (this one hates dairy but loves quinoa – another loves legumes but hates soy – most of them think vegetarians should be lobotomized) or some pet product or treatment like ACV, or coconut oil, or enemas, or ACV coconut oil enemas – but only with specific brands of coconut oil!*
Each of these pet issues they have tends to distract from getting you the information you need. Which is: YOU HAVE TO QUIT FUCKING EATING SUGAR**. At least temporarily. And temporarily could mean years. And it’s going to be hard as fuck (But not in that good way). And you are going to relapse at least once and maybe a hundred times before you remember that it’s not worth it. And it’s also impossible to not eat sugar. But you have to try.
After you mostly quit eating sugar, what you do next can vary. For some people, not eating sugar for a month or so will do the trick. For other people, it takes longer. For some people starting their own blog to beat back the bullshit is the only reasonable and sane thing to do. Just stop me when I start posting photos of my poo on here. Even for me, that’s a step too far.***
*Please don’t actually try this. I’m being an asshole. It’s called satire. Also…no pun intended.
**In all forms. Natural sugar is still sugar. Your body turns starch into sugar. It will feed your candida.
***Yup. There’s a candida blog out there with photos of poo. Fun stuff.