Ok, so it’s been quite awhile since I wrote anything here. You know, just the usual BS about dealing with life, dietary issues sapping one’s energy, lots of other common personal trials and tribulations, and oh-yeah-the-massive-global-pandemic-trauma-of-the-last-two-years. (JFC! It’s nearly been 2 years! At least a year and a half, by most measurements. And we round up for exaggeration purposes!)
I don’t really think I have candida systemically the way I used to. I don’t think I do. Except every once in a while. Like when I decide that if two blueberries is ok, then 20 is also ok, but then I break out in a rash the next day.
I’m not sure if I still have candida, but my diet sure continues to be a pain in the ass. I still don’t eat a lot of stuff. I am still high-maintenance in restaurants no matter how hard I try not to be. Like when I get really tired of not being able to order ANYTHING off of a restaurant menu. Also when the restaurant in question only has items that can be cooked in an airfryer – major no-no, but it’s my own life choices that led me to that place. I am in no way trying to criticize that restaurant for not catering to my absurdly specific needs. That time, I ate my friend’s french fries because I was really hungry and also because I seriously miss potatoes and ketchup sometimes. And again ended up with a rash.
On the bright side, now there’s all these goldang “keto” and “paleo” diets, which sometimes allow me to explain my dietary needs in trendy language! Assuming I’m somewhere that gives a fuck about keto and paleo stuff. Which is nowhere near where I live.
Also, I should digress for a moment to recognize that not only is most “paleo” completely fucking bullshit from an anthropological point of view, it is also HEAVY on items like maple syrup and honey, which, despite their clear moral superiority to sugar refined from sugar beets or whatever, I really can’t eat if I don’t want to feed the candida beast. No judgement. I would gorge myself on maple syrup and honey and moral superiority if the price to pay wasn’t so high. Paleo your little hearts out, hippie brethren!
Keto, now that one is intriguing. I guess I am closest to keto if I have to name this diet that I eat, but…most of the prepackaged keto things contain tapioca starch, or cassava flour. Turns out you can’t make a pizza crust out of cauliflower without adding something to act as a binder, like cheese, or starch. And I’m really not sure why, but the tapioca and cassava do not do me right. I get all itchy. It’s puzzling. I keep seeing these keto items pop up, and I keep reading the ingredients and trying some of them, usually to be disappointed.
Another sad sad disappointment for me is about dairy. I love dairy. I have access to excellent raw milk dairy. I also have access to excellent cultured dairy products with all the right trendy words on the label! But alas. Every attempt at dairy ends up with me being terribly itchy. And also literally having a bad taste in my mouth. When I quit dairy the last time, my sinuses cleared and I horked awful tasting white chunks out of my eustachian tubes. I don’t think that’s a good sign.
When I gave it up, I really hoped that I could blame all my problems on dairy and be done with them. Oh yeah, that would have been nice. It would have been a nice trade-off, to give up dairy and accept some other things, like occasional grains, back into my life. Nothing too crazy! Certainly I would never aspire to anything so sinful as wheat! But corn perhaps? Or brown rice? I would even have settled for quinoa. Anyway, none of that has worked out. I guess I haven’t tried quinoa in a year or two, but corn and rice definitely make me itchy. Fucking hell.
Anyway, I do think that I have less rage sometimes. Dietary issues are so common (or possibly just trendy) that I don’t have to struggle to explain as much as I used to. I’ve learned to ignore the internet and most people’s asinine dietary advice. Sometimes ordering something “keto” actually turns out edible. If nothing else, I order the fucking burger with extra bacon and no bun. Or steak. The big steak. With onions and mushrooms. Damn the expense. It’s better than itching. And I know a lot of people with really tasty, exceptionally well-raised farm animals and/or roadkill to share. I don’t fuck around with less than half a cow, and it is usually a really good deal. I have gotten ever smarter about how to eat well and not break the bank but I have also given up on guilt when it costs a lot.
I reserve my rage more often than not, but it’s still there. I’ve cut all the toxic people out of my life. They were all vegan anyway. Just kidding.
Candida Rage 